Why is spaciousness important for a clear mind and mental health?
Last month I spoke about why a relative sense of safety is important for clarity of mind. This month I’m talking about ‘spaciousness’.
What is spaciousness?
First, let’s consider the opposite of spaciousness:
Busy.
Cramped.
Interrupted.
Bombarded.
Constricted.
Therefore a felt sense of spaciousness to me is:
Having room to breath
Time to think
Freedom to ‘be’
If you are not feeling safe, being able to experience spaciousness will be hard.
I recently went on a retreat in Portugal and rented a car to drive to a remote area I was staying in. A manual car. Driving on the ‘wrong side’ of the road. With abhorrent Google Maps instructions.
I ended up ‘off road’, accidentally four wheel driving on loose dirt and up steep, narrow cobblestone pathways disguised as roads, trying to do nine point turns because the right hand lane was blocked by a gate.
When I finally arrived at my accommodation I had one bar of phone service and couldn’t find the Wi-Fi password. I sat on the outdoor couch and cried. My whole idea of a retreat was thwarted by the distress of being stuck in the middle of nowhere and risking my life on the roads.
After I frantically texted people and they successfully ‘sent’, I realised – I’m not alone. I was advised that if I stick to the main roads the driving will be easy from here on in. I was reassured that the host was there to help me in any way and she gave me the Wi-Fi password. I set out on the main roads to buy food, and, after I arrived home again I felt a renewed sense of resilience and relative safety.
I will survive this. I could unwind.
From then on, I had dedicated time and space to attend to my inner world. Removed from the daily grind, business-related tasks and incessant distractions, I could meditate, move my body and work through blockages or conundrums.
I could write easily every day. I practiced using my brain rather than Google to generate words when I was stuck or couldn’t ‘find’ them quickly. I developed solutions to business problems. I had a renewed sense of vitality in myself and in relation to the world.
I found wholehearted appreciation for the abundance I already have in my life. Of deep relationships with friends, colleagues, family and my partner. Of easy access to nature in a land resonant with my spirit. Of being able to do what I love in a way that is of benefit to the world.
Because I had both safety AND space.
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to go to Portugal to find spaciousness.
Part of what I value in my life is depth. Part is spirituality. Part is self development. I regularly retreat for all these reasons.
And I know how to maintain that sense of spaciousness in my day to day life – it’s helped me get where I’m at today.
I believe that spaciousness requires:
Realistic task allocation
Free thinking time
Limits on rabbit holes
Concentration practice
What does that look like in your daily life?
Realistic Task Allocation
This needs three major components.
Having enough time in the day to complete what it is you need to do
A process by which you identify and allocate ALL your tasks in ALL facets of your life
A realistic review of what is actually possible
Spaciousness will be difficult to establish if all the things you need to do are taking priority when you need space.
Identifying your tasks and when you will actually do them is important.
Being realistic is the second.
You may find that you do not have enough time in your life to do all the things you want or need to do.
In that case, spending time working this out is a key step to creating space.
Free Thinking Time
Our brains are thinking machines. That is what they are designed to do. Many deep thinkers, creatives and entrepreneurs spend unstructured time where the brain is ‘allowed’ to process information, without having any other agenda than to think.
For some people, this time is in nature, wandering while pondering.
For others, it is a dedicated meditation practice.
Or ‘thought dumping’, journaling time.
When the brain is given time to do what it does best – it allows for space. To understand what irks you. Bothers you. Is an issue. Or what is important to you. Drives you. Fuels your creative fire.
Free thinking time allows you to get to know your own mind and how it operates.
Limits on rabbit holes
Rabbit holes are the enemy of spaciousness.
Our world is designed to distract you. Lure you in. Keep you scrolling for more things to purchase. To envy. To invade your psychological space. To spend more time consuming content and products than living.
It is also designed for you to be constantly ‘available’.
No other time in human history could you be so easily contactable as now. Phone calls, messages and emails keep us always engaged.
Sometimes, I find I go to my phone to write an SMS to a friend and all of a sudden I’m on Instagram looking at a video of an AI gorilla working on an organic farm. I’ve forgotten why I opened my phone in the first place. And the gorilla is so funny, that I watch the entire back catalogue. Then I’ve forgotten who or what I was texting.
In our constantly connected world, being separate from these inputs is very difficult. If any time you have any ‘time’, whether a minute or an hour and you reflexively open your phone – notice if you get sucked into the rabbit hole. Notice how much time you lose to it. Next time you sit down to complete a task, what happens if you check your email inbox first? Do you forget your original aim?
The solution here is to set limits on your access. Limit anything that pulls you into a vortex that wasn’t already in your realistic task allocation.
If you need to, allocate ‘rabbit hole’ time. Set a timer. With an alarm. Trust me, I know. The app limit reminder is merely a suggestion, right?
When you do need to use your phone, say the task out loud, write it down or go directly to the app itself. This way you are intentionally using your phone for that reason, rather than being distracted by the notifications.
Concentration Practice
It is hard to find spaciousness if you struggle to sustain your attention. Either in the present moment, your inner world or the task at hand.
Learning how to effectively sustain your attention, understanding how long you can sustain your attention for, having ways of extending that time and building your world around your current limits may assist with creating spaciousness.
Because you have learned how to ‘come back’ to the task at hand, you are less likely to get distracted, reach for the rabbit hole and do something quickly on your To Do list.
Your spaciousness time is protected by your capacity to focus on the moment.
Practicing ways of enhancing your capacity to concentrate helps your brain function and can enhance productivity.
And it does not have to be hard – you can start small and build up over time. Usually a meditation practice focused on concentration is how I suggest people to work with this component.
Final Thoughts
I am not proclaiming to be the master at spaciousness.
When I came back from retreat, I noticed myself slipping back into old habits. Now that I am back into my usual set of responsibilities, there is constant competition for my energy, time and attention.
It is easy to attend to what is most pressing or ‘easy’ rather than what is most important. Or what I had planned to do.
Yet I also know that creating space is essential for all spheres of my life. So I am committed to doing the hard things, which inevitably tends to make things easier. At least in my experience.
Throughout all the stages of my career, I’ve had mentors, teachers, guides and supporters who have helped shape this capacity and given me insights on shifts to make.
If you want one for yourself, you know where to find me.
P.S. If you’re keen to learn what I discovered with my renewed sense of safety and spaciousness in Portugal (besides how to drive a manual rental up shonky backroads) join me on my social media channels and stick around for updates. I’m extending, evolving and ending some of my offers.